


It's Obvious (My Heart Beats For You)

by Awesomeist0



Category: Professional Wrestling, World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Becky wants her friends to be happy, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Hospitalization, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Sami's a skater boi, Sasha Banks is not nice, cute and cheesy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-12
Updated: 2019-02-12
Packaged: 2019-10-27 02:25:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17758031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Awesomeist0/pseuds/Awesomeist0
Summary: Set just before R-Evolution.  Sami's fallen in love with the one person he knows that he can't be with.  When Becky tells him that Sasha Banks has a crush on him, it seems to be the answer to his prayers.  If he can find happiness with someone else, maybe he can forget about Finn.It doesn't work.





	It's Obvious (My Heart Beats For You)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [dahdeemohn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dahdeemohn/gifts), [calmdowncold](https://archiveofourown.org/users/calmdowncold/gifts), [sunshinesamizayn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunshinesamizayn/gifts).



> For calmdowncold, sunshinesamizayn and dahdeemohn. Your Finn/Sami fics got me into this fandom, and I'm honestly not 100% sure how much of what I know about NXT is actual canon, and how much you created. I really hope you all enjoy. :)
> 
> To clarify, this isn't real people fanfic. This story is about Sami and Finn, not Rami and Fergal.

“You’re bullshitting me.”  Sasha glared at Becky in the reflection of the full length mirror.  “Sami is interested in me?  _ Grandpa _ Sami?”

 

The ginger shrugged, still wearing the twisted little grin that seemed to be tattooed on her lips.  “Yup.” She popped the “p” in the word, her eyes sparkling in amusement like fireworks on New Years Eve.  “He told me earlier before promo class.”

 

She rolled her eyes.  “I really don’t want to believe you.”

 

“Why not? Don’t you think he’s cute?”

 

Sasha huffed, grabbing her makeup brush to put the final touches on her in ring look.  It had to be perfect. Everything did. “If by  _ cute _ , you mean like a kitten who somehow learned to skank while wearing a flat cap.”  She shuddered. “Fuck, would you really want  _ that _ kissing you?”

 

“Not really my type, but why not?” The glee in her eyes began to melt away, leaving annoyance in its wake.  “He's a good guy. Bossy maybe. A bit of a know it all. But Sami's been good to me and Finn since we got here.”

 

She couldn't chase away the creeping flush of red with concealer fast enough.  Finn...now  _ he _ was a different story.  Quiet. Almost unworldly attractive.  And if the rumors that followed him from Japan were at all based in reality, amazing in bed.  It seemed like the entire NXT roster had been chasing him ever since he came over a few months ago.  And Sasha was determined to get him.

 

But he didn’t seem to know that she existed.  Finn seemed content enough to spend the majority of his time with Sami, always pairing off to train or work on their promos or just sit off to the side together, excitedly chatting and giggling about some pop culture nonsense.  And Becky was  _ supposed  _ to be putting in good words for her with her former mentor, but considering he’d never done more than flash her little smiles in passing, Sasha was beginning to run out of patience.

 

Except.

 

There  _ was _ Sami to consider.

 

It was no secret that Finn and Sami were close.  Probably the closest friends of anyone currently on the roster.  They were always... _ always  _ together.  Tagged in photos and other things on social media.  Fuck, Finn had whipped the fans into a frenzy with a photo of Sami and a Valentine’s Day present.  Perhaps. If she could get close to Sami. Not necessarily date him, per say, but they  _ could _ spend more time together outside of work.  Obviously Finn would be around, because he always was.  Then maybe...maybe the gorgeous older man would finally realize that they should be together.

 

It would be perfect.  

 

Sasha twisted her lips into a grin that was supposed to be contrite, but when she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror, she thought that she looked absolutely devious.  Whatever. Becky wasn’t going to question her. “Do you have Zayn’s number?”

 

Becky’s eyes glittered, which made Sasha’s grin stretch wider, almost to the point of cracking.  “Give me your phone.” She took the iPhone from her friend, tapping away at her contact list as Sasha ignored her to finish her makeup.  “He’s going to be so fucking happy.”

 

“I know.”  She snapped her makeup kit closed, dropping her novelty sunglasses over her eyes as she took her phone back.  “And don’t fuck up our match again.”

*

**_Sasha Banks:_ ** _ *heart eyes emoji* you’re sooo cute Sami _

**_Sasha Banks:_ ** _ why have we not spent any time together before? _

 

“Your burrito’s getting cold.  And eaten.” Finn smirked at Sami, but he barely noticed it.  He was staring down at his phone in absolute shock, barely able to believe what was happening here.  Out of nowhere. Completely and totally out of the blue, Sasha Banks had started texting him. It started innocuously enough; a question about what time they were supposed to be at the performance center for the pre-takeover meeting.  He’d answered, of course, figuring that would be the end of it. Sasha’d never bothered to give him the time of day before. Why would things change now?

 

But change they did.

 

They’d been texting nonstop for practically the entirety of the past 48 hours.  Deep down, he kind of figured that this was Becky’s doing. She was his close friend, yes, but her desire to meddle in his lovelife was quickly becoming an annoyance.  He knew he had no chance with Sasha. She was totally and completely out of his league...so beautiful and perfect and everyone, fucking  _ everyone _ wanted to date her.  

 

And she wanted him.   _ Him _ .  Even though they had next to nothing in common.

 

**_Sami Zayn:_ ** _ Because I’m a total dweeb and you’re ‘Da Boss?’ _

**_Sasha Banks:_ ** _ *angry emoji* don’t talk like that _

**_Sasha Banks:_ ** _ if you’re a total dweeb, you’re one i really want to snuggle _

**_Sasha Banks:_ ** _ i bet you’re the best cuddler _

 

Without looking, Sami slapped Finn’s fork away from his burrito bowl, which sent pico flying around their table like confetti.  “You have your own dinner, you know.”

 

“Yeah, but they gave you more guac.  I think they like you better.”

 

Sami raised an eyebrow at his friend.  “Or, more likely, you charmed the poor girl behind the counter with your dreamy accent and 50 thousand abs, and she forgot how to use a spoon.”  Before, jokes like that made him sad. Painfully aware of what he wanted so badly but could never have. He’d had enough disastrous crushes on close friends

 

_ //*cough*Kevin*cough*// _

 

to scare him off for the foreseeable future.  Sure, Finn was gorgeous. Not just gorgeous but kind and sweet and so smart...fucking everything he ever wanted in a partner.  He wasn’t going to ruin an amazing friendship for something as foolish as an unattainable crush. So he pushed it aside. Threw the first name at Becky that entered his mind when she asked; one that he knew was safe enough because there was no way she could ever reciprocate.  Until she apparently did.

 

His phone chirped again, and before he could grab it, Finn snatched it away.  “I see.” Sami dropped his head to stare down at his picked over burrito, feeling himself blush to the tips of his ears.  “So  _ that’s _ what you’ve been up to.”  The amusement in Finn’s voice seemed to heat the insecurities that were already churning deep in his guts, making them pop to the surface like popcorn.  “My mate’s too busy for me now that he’s got a new girlfriend.” Sami hated the way Finn said “girlfriend.” Light and teasing but still scraping at his nerves.  Irritating them. Picking away at him until everything felt wrong, like a cat being pet backwards. 

 

“Oh my gosh, since when did you become an eighth grade girl?”  Sami raked his fork through his burrito, his stomach churning violently as the bright colors seemed to mix together.  “We’re friends, all right?”

 

“Sambo, Sambo, Sambo.”  Finn tisked, his eyes flashing wickedly.  “Friends don’t ask you to Facetime them when you get home so you can fall asleep on your phones together.”

 

He blushed even deeper.  “Friends apparently  _ do _ steal your phone and read messages that in no way, shape, or form concern them.”  

 

“Hey, when it involves the absolute best guy in the world, it does indeed concern me.”  Finn winked, and Sami tried to ignore the little flutter of butterflies at his words. It wasn’t real.  So he didn’t want to feel it. “Y’know, if you ever need the apartment for the night, just let me know.”

 

“I’m not going to chase you out of your own home!” Sami was practically sputtering, annoyance welling so forcefully within him that he was briefly afraid he’d cry.  “If we really need to, I guess we can chase Bayley out of hers.” He tried to smile. It failed. But Finn seemed to fall for it. 

 

“You know I’m going to tell her you said that.”  His friend scooped a large blob of  _ his _ guac with a chip, and Sami bit his tongue to keep from snapping in frustration.  It wasn’t as if he was all that hungry anyway. Not with R-Evolution looming in less than 24 hours, and if he didn’t manage to finally...fucking  _ finally _ capture the title, it would be back to the indies for him.  Sami took a long sip of his iced tea, knocking the bowl closer to his friend with the cup.  “Although, if you’re going to be all close with Sasha, maybe Bayley and I should have a go at it.  Double date. Trade apartments. Maybe we could be the best man at each other’s weddings.” Finn was giggling, obviously treating this whole situation as a colossal joke.  Which was the furthest thing from the truth. Just thinking about it made his stomach feel heavy, like it was being pulled through the center of his body. 

 

Sami felt his smile waver, and if he released his control just a bit, it would shatter.  “I didn’t realize you were interested in Bayley.” 

 

“Well  _ I  _ didn’t realize you were interested in Sasha.”  Finn winked at him, and in that second, some of the little bubbles of tension started to dissolve.  “You have to know I’m joking, right?”

 

He did.  But then again, with Finn, sometimes he couldn’t tell.  

 

“Can we get out of here?” Sami took his phone back from his friend, his breath catching as he scrolled through his most recent texts.  Everything that she was saying to him. The little compliments threaded through their conversation like stars in the night sky. He felt his heart swell.  Sasha was totally upfront with the fact that she apparently really cared for him. Wanted to spend time with him; hold him and never let him go. Those were the words he’d always wanted to hear, and the woman speaking (or texting, as the case may be) was gorgeous.  All that he should have wanted.

 

**_Sasha Banks:_ ** _ well if i can’t cuddle with you for real, can you at least facetime me later? _

**_Sasha Banks:_ ** _ i want you to be the last thing i see before i close my eyes *winking emoji* _

 

But if that was the case, why did Sami still feel so...empty?

 

He shoved that thought quickly to the side, drumming his fingertips anxiously against the table as Finn seemed to be determined to take an hour and a day to pile their trash onto the tray.  Took a final bite of Sami’s guacamole as if in protest. “Impatient to get back to Miss Banks, are we?”

 

Sami didn’t know why his heart hurt.  “I just need to breathe.” He hated the way his voice sounded then.  So broken. Chipping away at the core of his foundation and he wasn’t sure why, but it felt like he was on the verge of collapsing completely.  Maybe he was worried about his fight with Neville. Maybe it was because he knew that he was in for another long night of battling with his insecurities, with dreams of losing the match and being laughed out of the arena with the mocking chants of “Ole!” following him quickly behind.  “You think she’s nice...don’t you?”

 

For a split second, something dark and unknown flashed across Finn’s face.  But it vanished almost as quickly as it’d come, leaving behind the same little goofy grin he was used to seeing on the lips of his friend.  “ _ Nice _ isn’t exactly the way I’d describe Sasha Banks.”  There was a shimmer of sadness in the older man’s eyes, even though his words were so soft and supportive.  Everything he could have possibly needed. Or at least everything that he was entitled to. “As long as she’s good to you.  Makes you happy.” 

 

“She does.”  He tried to match Finn smile for smile as a dull buzz seemed to settle over his consciousness.  Vibrating along with the buzz of his phone as he felt himself drowning in all of the things that he needed to say to them both.   It didn’t make much sense. He knew that he and Finn were still close friends and nothing short of a massive Steen level betrayal could possibly change that.  But wrapped in the words of comforting acceptance that had just fallen from his close friend’s lips, Sami could practically feel the unspoken goodbye envelop him.  Finn was letting him go. Giving him permission to have Sasha replace him as the most important person in his life. And it hurt him in a way he’d never thought possible.

*

Fuck, this was turning into a colossal waste of time.

 

Of all the things that she wanted to do a few hours before a show, spending a painfully long block of time in the Florida heat watching Sami practice his skateboard tricks wasn’t even close to making the short list.  Sasha’s smile was beginning to crack around the edges as she kept it planted firmly against her face, anxiously waiting for Finn to show up. Because honestly, he was the only reason she was even there. The painted metal bench dug into her overheated skin, bringing her annoyance to a near boil.  But at least Sami didn’t seem to notice. He was too consumed with executing his tricks perfectly, occasionally glancing over at her with a dopey look of wonder. As if he couldn’t believe that she was real. That  _ they _ were real.

 

Which, of course, they weren’t.

 

After about an hour, Sasha had hit her limit of how much of this bullshit she could force herself to tolerate.  She managed to catch Sami’s eye and beckoned him over, scooting closer to the end of the bench so they wouldn’t have to touch.  “You’re good at this.” 

 

He flopped beside her with an undignified *oof*, and Sasha felt her stomach twist in disgust at how ungodly sweaty he was.  Sami’s formerly white shirt was nearly translucent, as beads of it dripped from his head to roll down his face like tears. She handed him a water bottle, forcing her fingertips to brush against his.  “Thanks.” 

 

“No problem.”  Sasha kept glancing around the mostly empty skatepark, because of course it was fucking deserted.  What idiot would actually seek out time here, in this desert of concrete and metal and almost no shade? He would certainly get a sunburn from this stupidity.  But it didn’t concern her. “So, did you say that Finn was going to join us?”

 

Sami chugged half of the bottle in only a few gulps, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.  “Eventually. He’s tied up in media.” 

 

Of-fucking-course he was.  Just her goddamn luck. She tried as best she could to keep the disappointment off of her face, but only succeeded in stretching her smile out more.  Making the cracks grow bigger. “Are you nervous about tonight?”

 

There was no need to ask this; the answer was as clear as if it had been tattooed into his skin.  Sasha had been so used to Sami being almost a literal ray of sunshine. Always so upbeat. Almost aggravatingly so.  But this wasn’t the same man she’d come to the park with. They’d spoken less than a dozen words to each other, not that Sasha really cared, but she was used to him rambling on for what felt like milleniums with pretty much anyone who could stand to listen to him about any topic under the sun.  She could feel the tension coming off of Sami in waves, as if it was a toxin his body was trying so hard to sweat out. While she was pretty sure that some of it had to do with the fact that they were here together on a first date

 

_ //which  _ **_wasn’t_ ** _ a date, dammit// _

 

there was something else there.  Brewing just beneath the crumbling facade of his aggressively bubbly personality.  Adding shadows to his eyes that had never been there before. Not that she’d noticed.  Sami just shrugged, picking at the label of his water bottle. 

 

“You’re going to do great.”  Sasha slid an arm against his sweat-drenched shoulders, expecting him to lean into her touch and confused when he didn’t.  “Neville’s an asshole. Please tell me you don’t buy into any of that ‘unable to win the big one’ shit.”

 

“It’s hard not to.”  He stared down into his hands, shoulders shaking almost imperceptibly.  If she hadn’t been touching him, she never would have noticed. “You’ve heard about what’s going to happen after the match, right? Win or lose, Kevin’s making a run in to kick my ass.”  

 

“And that changes...what?” Sasha tightened her arm around his shoulders just a bit more, his wet shirt pressing against her.  “You destroyed him in RoH. You can do it here too.”

 

“Actually, that was Generico.”  Sami looked up from his hands to smile at her, and she had to admit that it melted her heart, just a bit.  It was fragile. Wavering; probably about to shatter at the slightest breeze. But it was genuine. “Dunno why people keep getting us confused.”

 

“My apologies.”  She found herself skimming her fingertips against the base of his neck, teasing the dark freckles that stood out like beacons against the pale skin.

 

They sat in silence for a while, with Sasha lightly touching Sami’s skin as he seemed to retreat deeper within himself.  She didn’t know what to say to him. There probably wasn’t anything she could say to him to make this situation any better.  But, fuck, she wanted to try. Eventually he spoke, and his voice was so soft. Resigned. “Do you know what the worst part is?” 

 

Sasha shook her head, though he wasn’t looking at her.  This was clearly something he needed to get off of his chest, and she was an afterthought.  

 

“Tonight was supposed to be about me.  I fucking know how it sounds; I’m probably the biggest douchebag in the company for feeling that way.  But it’s  _ my _ night.  If I win the title.  If I don’t. Something major’s going to happen to me.”  Sasha watched, transfixed, as he wiped lines of sweat out of his eyes.  Assuming it  _ was _ sweat.  “But I’m not important enough to be the focus.  The biggest fucking night of my career is a vehicle to make Kevin look strong.”  He drew a shaking breath. “Why am I not enough for anyone?”

 

It all happened so fast.

 

Without thinking...without even bothering to breathe, Sasha clutched him closer, feeling her fingertips dig into his shoulders but not caring.  He’d probably have bruises. And it wasn’t her problem. “Don’t say that.” 

 

It was true, of course.  Everything he’d just said.  He was little more than a show dog to Hunter and Vince, to be trotted out and shoved to the foreground as if to give validity to the fact that the WWE did indeed care about talent from other promotions.  Acquiring Generico would be a huge boon to any wrestling organization. Now the WWE had him, but had him buried in the middle of the slush pile of talent without any real direction. Thrusting the title at him seemed like a way to lure other talent over to NXT.  If Sami Zayn could make it big, anyone could. 

 

And she was doing it too.

 

There was too much of everything piling up on top of him.  She could see him breaking under the strain of just one stress too much.  It hurt her to see. Even if she didn’t care about him the way she claimed, watching Sami break had never been part of her plan.  There had to be something she could do, some way to chase the pain away from his eyes if only for a few moments before everything in his career changed.  He looked so scared. Alone.

 

So Sasha kissed him.

 

She hadn’t intended for it to be anything serious.  His lips were thin, soft and cold, settling against hers and just...still.  His fingertips pressed into her bare biceps, clutching at her skin as if trying to keep her from disappearing.  Kissing Sami wasn’t something she thought she’d ever do, and as he gasped against her in shock, she took that as an invitation to deepen the kiss.  It felt so surreal. But the longer she pressed against him, felt his warmth and touch and realizing that, fuck, it actually felt nice. Better than nice, even.  Warm and safe and almost familiar.

 

Someone nearby coughed.  Not a real one, one that was over-exaggerated, like a child trying desperately to prove to a parent that they were far too sick for school.  She snapped her eyes open, expecting to maybe find an excited fan with a cell phone. Or an passerby annoyed to see even this minor display of affection in a public place.

 

It was Finn.

 

And he seemed upset.  Sasha fought against all of her instincts to rip herself out of Sami’s arms as she stared into his ice blue eyes, feeling a little flame of happiness beginning to burn.  Finn looked between the two of them, sliding further into visible pain as Sami continued to hold her, even though all of his muscles felt tense. “Didn’t mean to bother. See you at the arena, Sambo.”

 

She lay her head against Sami’s chest to hide her smirk.  

*

“Fuck Char, it’s goddamn perfect!” Sasha leaned against the wall just outside of the gorilla area, feeling almost weightless in her intense happiness.  “You want to date a guy, hang out with his friends. And Finn’s so thirsty for me he was practically sobbing when he saw me kissing Grandpa Sami.”

 

Charlotte made a face.  “Don’t you care about him at all?”

 

“You’re kidding, right?” She tried her best to keep up her mask of haughty contempt, even as she felt it slipping.  It was easy to pretend it away. Sami definitely wasn’t the type of guy she usually dated, and she couldn’t even imagine what the people in her life would say about him.  She was dating down, slumming with someone so far below her that it was almost comical. It wasn’t as if she remembered every detail of the kiss; the way his arms felt around her and the way he tasted.  Like chapstick. And oranges. 

 

“That’s not okay.  It’s not okay at all.”

 

Sasha giggled, even though it came out closer to one of Seth Rollins’ comically evil cackles.  “It’s good for us both. I get one step closer to getting fucked by a gorgeous Irishman, and  _ he _ gets to make a few memories of being touched by something other than his left hand.”

 

“I’ll pass.”

 

Fuck.

 

She felt her heart practically fall through her body as Finn leaned against the closed door of one of the training rooms.  He was covered in intricate paint, the dark colors and jagged teeth making him look somehow more toned and perfect. Beside her, Charlotte shook her head in disgust and rushed off to give her pre-match interview.  

 

She had to say something.  Somehow, there had to be some way to fix this situation and twist things back into her favor.  “Look-”

 

“Save it.”  He crossed his arms against his chest, his ice blue eyes gleaming almost unworldly with his fury.  “What the fuck is wrong with you?! He cares. More than you deserve.”

 

“I care about him too.”  Finn laughed, and it was as sharp and piercing as a bite from the teeth painted on his chest.  “I didn’t mean what I told Charlotte. When I kissed him-”

 

He slammed his hand against the door, making the thick wood crack a bit from the full force of his anger.  “ _ Don’t _ .”

 

“It’s true!” She squeezed her eyes shut as tears of frustration began to brew.  “This isn’t what I wanted.”

 

“You’re goddamn right about that.”  He was smirking, but with his face covered in Balor’s teeth, it made her shudder.  “Sami deserves better.”

 

“Sasha!” A road agent popped his head from the curtain that kept the gorilla area mostly separate.  “You gotta get back here now.”

 

This wasn’t going to work.  And there was nothing that she could do about it.

*

Sami leaned against the wall of the locker room, staring down at his hands as he tried to keep his breathing even.  He should have been there for them. For Sasha and her match against Charlotte, even though she wasn’t able to take the championship.  For Finn. It had been his first pay-per-view match and the first time he fought in the demon paint, and if what he saw on the monitor was any indication, it had been electric.  Finn was terrifyingly beautiful to behold. He wished that he could have seen him in person, but his anxiety would not allow it. So he hid away from the rest of the roster. Tried to keep tabs on what was going on with the monitor backstage, at least as much as his shattering consciousness would allow.

 

It was almost his turn.

 

Sami muttered a little prayer for strength beneath his breath, feeling guilt flash over him for asking for divine help for something so selfish.  At least this would all be over soon. The match. The beating from Kevin. Hopefully everything would work out in his favor, because he couldn’t even begin to process what would happen if it didn’t.  He heard the door to the locker room turning, and he rubbed his sweaty palms down the sides of his tights. This was it. 

 

“Three minutes, Zayn.”  The road agent offered him a wan smile, which Sami couldn’t even attempt to return.  So he grabbed his flat cap off of the bench beside him, wringing it between his shaking hands.  

 

“Sami!” Sudden confusion cauterized his slow bleed of panic as Finn came rushing into the room, his face twisted and almost impossible to read beneath the paint.  

 

“You here to wish me luck?” Was that the way his voice usually sounded? Did he sound sufficiently aloof and haughty? Could he trick the audience into believing that he was the same Sami Zayn from the indies; someone so certain of his own abilities that nothing could shake him? 

 

“Of course.”  Finn rushed over, practically flying across the locker room to throw his arms tightly around Sami.  He felt himself melt in the smaller man’s strong arms; the tension seeming to pour out of him the longer they were together.  He bit one of his lips to keep from sighing in absolute contentment. “You’re shaking.” 

 

“Am I?” Sami wiped at his eyes as quickly as he could, hoping that his friend couldn’t see the tears that were just waiting to fall.  “Sorry I wasn’t out there for you.”

 

The tears pulsed harder at the light, almost electric brush of Finn’s hand down the center of his bare back.  This felt so right. It shouldn’t feel this right, the gentle press of skin against skin. He could feel the concern and care in his friend’s touch, and he had to escape because if he didn’t, everything would shatter.  The walls he’d been building around his heart to keep it safe and protected from the one person he knew he could never have; the one person he just knew it wasn’t safe to love. Because it could never be reciprocated. Guilt settled over him like a creeping fog, since Sami knew that this wasn’t fair to Sasha.  “There’s just no fucking time.” Finn’s brogue seemed to waver as it fell lightly against the side of his neck. “I really have to tell you-”

 

The road agent cleared his throat obnoxiously, staring down at his watch with pointed irritation.  “We’ve got to head out.”

 

Sami didn’t want to leave.  He’d been hugged by Finn before; their friendship had always pushed the acceptable boundaries of how tactile they were both in the public eye and at home.  They both craved physical affection, and even if he knew it would never turn into anything more, Sami wanted nothing more than to be there for him. “We’ll talk later.”

 

“Do you love her?!”

 

Sami froze as the words seemed to batter against his consciousness.  His first instinct was to laugh at the sheer absurdity of the question, but as he stared into the absolute pain in Finn’s eyes, he couldn’t speak.  He’d never seen that look on his friend’s face before. So deep and consuming, as if he was experiencing something so painful that his soul was bruised.  It hurt him to see.

 

No.

 

He  _ had _ seen that very look in Finn’s eyes before.  Only for a split second. At the skatepark, when he’d kissed Sasha.  

 

They had to talk about this.  His friend was in so much pain; pain he couldn’t understand but he still hated himself for causing.  Sami felt his mouth flop open stupidly, his brain thick and heavy and barely able to process the most basic of thought.  He didn’t love Sasha. He  _ didn’t _ .  They were spending time together, sure, but that wasn’t the kind of relationship that he wanted from her.  She clearly wanted to make him happy. But that wasn’t enough. It couldn’t be. Not when he was staring at everything he ever wanted, everything he knew he would never have.

 

“I can’t do this.”  Sami took a few steps toward the door of the locker room, feeling his skin prickle as the annoyed glare of the road agent seemed to burn into his skin.  There was no time for this. No time for anything, not with the most important match in his career just minutes away. He couldn’t afford to be distracted.  Not even by his best friend who was looking at him as if his heart was breaking. 

 

And he ran out of the room, eyes blurring with the tears he knew he couldn’t let Finn see.

*

The entire arena screamed.

 

Sami lifted the title over his head, leaning heavily against the turnbuckle to keep from collapsing.  Tears streamed down his cheeks as he stared out over the crowd, his heart so full he thought it would rupture.  This was the moment he’d been dreaming of for years. His shaking fingertips traced over and over the little details etched into the belt, and he sobbed harder when the entire locker room came rushing out to ringside to congratulate him. __ Sami loved this.  Every moment of this energy, all clashing over him, pulsing and loud like a heartbeat threaded together with an “Ole!” chant.  At the same time, he wanted it to last forever, this moment that was just about him, and for it to end. 

 

Because things had to change.  One way or another, Sami knew that he had to make a decision.  If his relationship with Sasha, even though he wasn’t sure if it could be called that quite yet, was important enough to him to jeopardize Finn’s happiness.  Fuck, that was all Sami wanted. He loved being with Finn. Loved when he was happy; loved when they were at their most childish watching endless hours of cartoons and making up ridiculous jokes to see which of them would laugh harder.  He loved waking up in the mornings to find Finn already in the kitchen, blue eyes glistening like the sea as they smiled at each other for the first time. He loved…

 

Fuck.  

 

He loved...

 

“Mate!” He offered Neville a wan smile, his joy burning brighter when he felt his friend’s arms close tightly around him.  “You did it,” the thickly accented voice mumbled against his ear. “I am so fucking proud of you.” 

 

Sami couldn’t respond.  And it wasn’t for lack of trying.

 

Everything changed. 

 

The muscled arms around him fell away, to be quickly replaced by ones that were much larger; ones that he hadn’t felt in so long.  He felt Kevin pull him in closer, his arms so tight around his torso. He felt his best friend press a kiss against his forehead.

 

Followed by a crushing flash of pain.

*

Time flowed strangely in the hospital.

 

Sami had been expecting the powerbomb onto the ring apron.  He and Kevin had done that spot so many times, it should have been almost as easy as breathing.  But something had gone very wrong. He knew he was distracted. Feeling the title sit heavily against his shoulder, the leather pressing into his bare skin like a hug he desperately needed.  There were too many eyes on them both. Not from the fans, many who were familiar with the brutality of their RoH matches and were expecting more of the same. But having almost everyone on the payroll watching as Kevin decimated him.  It should have been a callback to some of the most intense, adrenaline filled moments of his life. 

 

But he felt weak.  The title already put an enormous target on his back, and now that his coworkers could see how fragile he was, his days as champion were surely limited.  They were watching him. They all were. His friends and William and Sasha and fucking  _ Finn _ ...they could all see how weak he was.  Undeserving of all that he’d earned. His heart, which was so full and bright seconds earlier crashed inside of his chest with the intensity of the slam.  A failure. He was a failure.

 

He couldn’t take the bump safely.

 

It was his head and not his back that took a great deal of the impact.  Sami needed to move, needed to get up and hide backstage so he could clutch the belt and lick his wounds.  But he couldn’t lift his neck. Tears of frustration and pain gushed down his cheeks like rain as he squeezed his eyes shut, knowing that the cameras were all focused on him and his weakness.  

 

Blessedly, Sami had drifted in and out of consciousness.  He had memories of doctors and nurses and aides all with kind eyes, but all of their testing seemed to run together.  They said that he would be fine. Hunter insisted that he remain in the hospital overnight as a precaution, but other than some bruising, there was nothing actually wrong with him.  No concussion. No broken bones. Probably a panic attack, but he didn’t want to admit that to anyone here. He didn’t want to seem weaker.

 

He didn’t even remember closing his eyes again, but when they opened, the first thing he saw was Finn.  The older man was sitting on the side of his bed, his eyes red and wet as they stared down at him. Sami felt his breath rattle around beneath his ribs.  Never,  _ never _ had Finn looked more beautiful.  “You’re awake.” His words were barely more than a whisper, brushing against Sami’s skin like the tears that neither could stop.  

 

“You know I like naps.”  Sami tried his best to smile, but with the pain shooting up his neck and into his head like an electric current, it was surely a grimace.  “Have you been here long?”

Finn shrugged, his tears seeming to flow faster the longer they looked at each other.  “Couple hours. Kevin came by earlier.” He stretched out to grab a gift bag off of the bedside table.  “He left that for you.”

 

“Too small for my title.”  His heart began to soar at Finn’s little giggle.  It sounded sweet and almost musical, and it seemed to ease some of the throbbing anguish that cocooned his brain.  There was a card with a huge frowning emoji on the front, and Kevin had added a criss-crossing “x” of bandages on its massive head.  “‘Sorry I broke your stupid head.’” He chuckled lightly. “Yup. That’s my Kevin.” There was a small box of vegan chocolates in the bag, but his stomach clenched hard at the sight of them.  “Do you want one?”

 

His friend shook his head quickly, red eyes never leaving Sami’s.  He still felt fuzzy and hazy and barely there anyway, but he couldn’t ever remember Finn’s eyes ever being so luminous.  Had there always been so many colors; an entire paintbox of greens and golds and blues shimmering in his irises like the tears that couldn’t stop falling?  Sami raised a shaking hand to wipe at his own eyes, but the nausea churned harder at the sight of the IV port stuck into his skin. “Saline,” Finn said softly, catching the terror in his eyes before Sami could vocalize it.  “The doctors wanted to give you something for pain, but Hunter wouldn’t let them. He...we all know how you feel about pain medication.”

 

He drew a shaking breath that sliced and rattled against his shattered heart.  “You don’t have to stay. I’ll be fine, I promise.”

 

“Do you want me to go?” It was an innocent question; one they’d asked each other so many times in their few, precious months as both close friends and roommates.  Finn leaving this sad little room would have been the best thing for them both. That way, the older man wouldn’t have to worry about him and his weaknesses. He could be back in his own room, and his own life.  One that Sami couldn’t poison.

 

But he was weak.

 

Without thinking, he grabbed Finn’s hand as tightly as he could.  It probably hurt him; Sami could feel the tiny bones and tendons press against each other beneath his calloused fingertips.  Finn’s hand was so soft. So perfectly formed and strong and he knew that he had no right to be touching something so beautiful.  Even still, he couldn’t pull away. Not now, not with the little gasp of shock that slipped past Finn’s lips. “No.” He had to close his eyes, because if he looked at his friend now; his tears and his gentle smile and the brightness that radiated out of his very soul like the light from the sun, Sami would lose it completely.  

 

“I thought I lost you.”  He sunk his teeth into his bottom lip, worrying the chapped skin until it bled as he felt Finn’s fingertips brush against his cheek.  He was teetering on the edge of sanity, feeling himself tip closer and closer to the edge with each brush of skin against skin. Sami knew he had to interject.  To assure Finn that he was fine; he wasn’t ever going to go anywhere and even if he did, his friend would be much better without him. Because he was barely keeping it together.  If this continued, Sami was so afraid that everything he tried so hard to keep buried deep within him would slip out. And then Finn would hate him. “God Sami, I love you.”

 

And he waited, hearing nothing except the sound of his heart roaring in his ears.

There was more to that statement.  There always was. He’d heard this before...so fucking many times in the past.   _ I love you Sami... _ **_BUT_ ** _ as a brother. _ _ I love you Sami... _ **_BUT_ ** _ you’re always traveling, and long distance relationships never work out.  I love you Sami... _ **_BUT_ ** _ our beliefs are so different and we both know that we could never be together _ .  He didn’t know what Finn was going to say next.  All he knew was that it would break his heart.

 

So he waited.  And waited. Only the sounds of Finn’s sobbing and the constant low tone of his heart monitor split the air.  Sami had almost tuned it out, but as their silence stretched out further, it was all he could focus on. 

 

“Is...is there anything you want to say to me?” His friend’s words were somehow both terrified and hopeful, his tears seeming to burrow into the sounds and pulling them apart like roots.  

 

“What do you mean?”

 

Finn wept harder, and the sound of it caused Sami physical pain.  “Just tell me, please. If you don’t...it’s okay and nothing has to change between us, but I couldn’t live anymore without you knowing.”

 

He snapped his eyes open, feeling hope for the first time in so long swell within his heart.  Pushing away the pain with each gentle swipe of Finn’s fingers against his skin, even as the older man continued to weep.  “You can’t mean that.” Sami was shaking in fear, searching his friend’s eyes for any trace of the lie that he had to be telling.  It was a joke; it had to be. Life had never been this kind to him before. “You’re straight.”

 

“Who told you that?”

 

Sami started picking at the medical tape that held his IV port in place, tearing at the edges until Finn covered his hand to stop him.  “Reddit. Dirt sheets. I’ve seen the photos leaked of your exes. They’re all so fucking gorgeous and I’m…”

 

“Wonderful.”  Finn was still crying, as was Sami.  He skimmed his fingertips over and over the thin skin at the top of his palm, eyes so gentle.  “Why didn’t you ask me about it?”

 

“And say what? ‘Hey Finn, rumor has it that you’ve banged the hottest girls in Japan.  Want to give that up to be with me?’” He felt tears of absolute humiliation course down his cheeks, wishing more than anything for the floor to open up and pull him down to the center of the earth.  “Fuck, you’re perfect. You deserve so much more than I can offer.”

 

“God.”  His heart actually stopped beating for a second at the sensation of Finn’s warm, strong arms looping lightly around his chest.  The older man fell back into the flattened pillow, pulling Sami as close to his chest as the medical equipment would allow. He lay stiffly for a moment or so, barely making contact with his friend even as he felt Finn’s warm skin burning through his thin hospital gown.  But it was too much for him to resist. Laying in his arms; feeling his whisper-soft caress ghost lightly down the opening between the ties in the back of the oversized garment. It was everything. Something snapped within Sami, something he’d constructed long ago to keep his heart safe.  Now that his walls that shattered, he was vulnerable. They both were. He pressed his face against Finn’s chest, mesmerized by the gentle warmth and his soft skin. “Does this mean-”

 

He was shaking from both fear and anticipation.  This was happening. The words he was so sure of; the ones he wanted to speak but could never dream of.  “I love you.” Barely a whisper, but still so charged that they deafened him. Finn...fuck,  _ his _ Finn was staring down at him with such wonder, as if he’d offered him something precious.  Something that was much more valuable than the love of the newest NXT champion. They lay like this for what felt like forever; arms clutching desperately at each other as Sami offered up every prayer he knew in thanks for bringing this beautiful man into his life.  He felt fingertips slide gently across his chapped lips, irritating the little sore he’d inflicted but he didn’t care. 

 

And that made him think of Sasha.

 

“I’m such an asshole.”  Sami began picking at one of the pads affixed to his chest, knowing with absolute certainty that his heart was beating only for Finn.  “Sasha’s going to hate me. And Becky too. Probably the whole fucking women’s division.”

 

“Baby.”  He heard the mechanical distortion of his heart rate quicken at his new pet name.  Finn’s eyes were unreadable. Partially glistening with happiness, but also something darker.  “Don’t worry about her.”

 

“But-”

 

The older man pressed his lips to the stubble on Sami’s cheek.  “Sasha doesn’t deserve you, all right? Trust me on that.” He felt himself melt against the man he loved, still distantly certain that this all had to be an amazing dream.  “She said some pretty awful shit about us backstage.”

 

This felt more normal.

 

Sami felt a humorless chuckle rip from his guts.  He’d be lying if he didn’t admit that it hurt. Things seemed to be going well between them, but as usual, he was the butt of the jokes.  The odd man out. He felt Finn’s chest rising and falling against his, and the little bit of ice the news about Sasha had formed around his heart melted.  He wasn’t alone. “I don’t know if I should thank her.” He looked up at Finn, who kissed the tip of his nose in response. “If you hadn’t caught us kissing, we might not be here like this now.”

 

He shivered at the sensation of Finn’s hand carding lightly through his auburn curls.  “Not sure if she can take all the credit for that one, love. We also gotta thank Kevin for breaking your head.  Although I definitely wouldn’t call it  _ stupid _ .”

 

This was all he wanted.  Lying here, cradled so closely to Finn’s chest as they both just let all of the residual pain drain out of them along with their tears.  Sami closed his eyes as a stupid little smile stretched out across his face. If this was a dream, he never wanted to wake.

 


End file.
